I hate the Fall. I know some of you out there are going to be like "what are you talking about, I love the cooler weather and the apple and pumpkin picking etc. etc. etc." Well all of you liberal hippies that like that stuff go F yourselves. Here is why fall is the worst season.

1. Leaves that change colors will fall off your trees and you have to pick them up. It sucks. This year I will be blowing them into my neighbors yard so she can pick them up.

2. Apple picking isn't fun. The apples end up costing like $5 buck a pound for apples that don't taste that good. Oh yeah you get to put on a North face vest and some brown leather boots so you'll look the part. Great. I'm not even going to start in on the picking of pumpkins where you don't even pick them.

3. Hot cider. That shit is always way to hot when you first take a sip and then your tongue is totally burned and you can't taste shit for the rest of the day. And why is it always served in the cups from a dentists office. You wait in line and get a 2 oz. serving. Since when is apple cider $8 bucks a gallon. If I'm not mistaken its just Apple juice that's a couple weeks past its prime.

4. Sweaters. I hate sweaters. I really hate sweater vests. If a guy is wearing a sweater vest he is saying he's held another mans penis in his hand by choice.

5. Women think fall is an excuse to dress like janeane garofalo. Goodbye sundresses and bikinis. Goodbye sexy tanlines and saving. Hello corduroy jeans and turtlenecks.

Fall is the worst season every. I moved south to get away from all that crap and its slowly creeping its way down here. I'll be going to the beach next weekend to take my son surfing and fishing and I'm making my wife wear something sexy.