Alright. I know that I have been eluding to the fact that I'm not a huge GWB supporter. I will try to keep this blog fairly free of political banter. I would like to say one thing.

Barack is one Smooth Operator. Regardless if you think he can do the job or whether you like the dude or not, he is at least cool. Here is a picture that was on the cover of the Daily News here in NYC. If this is seriously all the dirt that we can find on this Cat, then I'm good with him steering this ship for a couple years. (Political Side bar, Barack is a huge fan of Abe Lincoln and is following his strategies)

Just so I don't get hammered by some of you that hate cigarettes. True, cigarettes are bad. They cause cancer and they make your breathe stinky. So my advice to Barack, "tell people that quiting smoking is your New Years Eve resolution, then have a couple cocktails and tell yourself what you really want to change".

Xmas Cards

Do you still get these? Xmas cards, I just don't get why we send them. In this day and age where parents have to fucking text message their own kids to come downstairs for dinner, we sent and receive millions of Xmas cards. It's like we've regressed back to the 1800's to communicate. I talk to you guys almost every day but you find it necessary to send me a card with your family picture. But you know what, I am alright with that. Its the holidays and it is nice to see the family picture that you picked out after spending endless hours trying to decide which one you look less fat in.

I have two gripes.

1. If you send me a card and all you can muster up to say is. "merry Xmas from John and Sue"don't send me the card. Really? Are we that close that we have spoken so recently that we have covered everything. No I get this shit from people I haven't spoken to in exactly one year, when I got their last Xmas card.
2. I do like to see the pictures of the families. You know the cute ones with the babies or the corny shot of the family dog with the Santa hat on. I really do like it, it's nice. But what if you got a card with a picture of just the couple. No kids or cute dog, just the two of them with the horrendously ugly sweaters and stupid grins. I could see if your wife got a boob job and you were like "Damn, look at those toys I get to play with." But just the two of you. It's WEIRD. Please save that stamp and give that quarter or how ever much it cost to mail a letter to the salvation army.

P.S. Darryl told me to get a couple of your addresses, our X-mas cards need to go our this week.

Awkward goodbye

I went to Darryl's (my wife) Holiday work party this weekend. When she told me I had to go I was at first completely against the idea and told her over my dead body was I going to go and that I reused such an idea. After all who was going to watch Liam. So on Saturday night here sister came over and off we went. Tally another one in the loss column for TP. The only thing I had going for me was that hopefully the 30 bucks I was paying for this was going to score some good beer and I made the Guacamole so at least that was going to taste good.

When we go to the house it was the usual uncomfortable introductions to people that I could care less about. I played it cool since this was a work function. I ate and drank, not to much because I have the mind set that 8 beers isn't overdoing it.

Long story short.

On the way out I was shaking hands of the people I didn't know and hugging the ones I did. I came to the woman that owned the house and was hosting the party. Now granted I have met her before but under no definition of the word are we "friends" or "close" this was the first word I was saying to her all night. I start to lean in to SHAKE her hand and she opens her arms for the HUG. Oh shit. I'm kind of off balance when I lean in and the 2 beer I chugged in the bathroom while Darryl wasn't watching just him me. I reach my right hand across her and grab her upper arm around her bicep and follow that with grabbing her hand on the same arm with my left hand. So to picture this it looks like I'm holding a Lacrosse stick or an ax. Not awkward enough, I just can't stand there so I finish it off with a kiss on the cheek. She clearly was just looking for just the hug and pulled away.

I vote to come up with a new way to say good by to work people. It could be a high five or spacial hand gesture. Look at Mr. Spock, no touching him just the ol' Vulcan hand signal for "nice seeing you, don't touch me." We should take a page out of his playbook.

I'll be thinking about this and get back to you.

Thinking of Summer drink

I needed a refreshing alcoholic drink this afternoon after I went to the post office to ship some Xmas presents. Here's what I came up with.

I learned this one when I was down in Mexico on the boat.

Light beer of any kind. (I like Bud Lime or miller Chill. In Mexico or the doggy part of Stamford, I drink Tecante out of the can)

Rim a glass with Kosher salt before you pour the beer in it.
squeeze 1/4 lime into the glass (use the lime to wet the rim of the glass in step 1)
Fill with beer.

People have looked at me funny with this drink but it tastes so damn good. Give it a try.

Diaper Champ. Mission Accomplished

I have a 18 month old son "Liam" who shits a whole hell of a lot. Don't let his cute face fool you. His other end is as mean as they come. This kid should be the poster child for a Fiber supplement. Anyone who has kids or had kids knows that you need some sort of receptacle to hold the poop filled diapers. It's called the diaper champ. Just so you know there was some over educated VP of marketing that came up with that name. It's no fucking Champ. Ali, Jordan, Phillies, they are champs. This plastic contraption is not.

Here is how you use it. It looks like a garbage can with a lid that has this overly engineered contraption on it. You put the diaper in and flip it. Great. So I paid $49.99 so I wouldn't have to open the lid. I'm ok with that because you would think that it would trap the smell right? Wrong, it doesn't do shit.

Here's the worst part. Since I'm a man and I do the Man's work, I have to take that shit out. The first time I did it I was totally unprepared for what hit me. I walked in, popped the lid, leaned down and grabbed the bag. The air (shit saturated) that was once inside the bag rushed to my nostrils like the wind in a cat. 5 hurricane. I immediately gagged dry heaved and began to cough. I said fuck that and walked out. This is going to take planning. I tied a bandanna around my face so I looked like a Blood gang member from Compton, put on my sunglasses, winter hat and snowboarding gloves. I only breathed through my mouth and attacked that shit filled bag like I was in an ancient roman gladiator fight. I won, that bitch was taken out twist tied and disposed of. VICTORY!!!!!. That has been my get up from that day forward. Moral of the story. Like our now president who underestimated the planning it would take to win not just a battle but a war, always be prepared for the worst. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Here is an email I sent to Pres. Elect Barack. No response yet. Still waiting.

Barack,
Have you ever thought about adding Baltimore Ravens captain Ray Lewis to your Cabinet. I was thinking that he might make a very good secretary of defense. I have listed a couple of his stats that might make the decision easier. I was also thinking that his entrance into diplomatic meetings with the dry ice smoke and theatrical dance moves might be the change we need to better communicate with hostile nations like Iran or North Korea. All I'm saying is after Ray Lewis barks "we must protect this house" I'm sure Mahmoud Ahmadinejad won't start spewing his hateful monologs. Again its just a thought. Let me know if you would like my other ideas that I have for your cabinet.
Rays stats-
Ray Anthony Lewis (born May 15, 1975 in Bartow, Florida) is an American football linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens of the National Football League (NFL). Lewis has appeared in nine Pro Bowls and been named an All-Pro seven times.[1] He won the NFL Defensive Player of the Year in 2000 and 2003; he was the sixth player to win the award multiple times.[2] He was also the first linebacker to win the Super Bowl Most Valuable Player Award since 1971 and the first linebacker to win the award on the winning Super Bowl team.
Oh yeah, congrats on the whole becoming President thing.

My sister sent me this Xmas email with Q's to fill out. Here are my answers.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper, its all about invisible tape and folding the corners
2. Real tree or Artificial? Real and cute your own down.
3. When do you put up the tree? Darryl wanted to do it before thanksgiving. I won, last weekend.
4. When do you take the tree down? When ever I get tired of hearing Darryl nagging me to do it.
5. Do you like eggnog? Yeah, I will be hosting the 2nd annual TP Eggnog chugging contest this year.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? BMX bike.
7. Hardest person to buy for? "My brother-in-law Orlando, I dread drawing his name in the gift swap" Ditto.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Liam.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes but I bought it at a dollar store and the holy family is black with afros.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail with family picture. No 3 page family letter yet.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Tooth brush every year in my stocking. Followed by mounds bar.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Love actually.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? When the panic sets in.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? NO never. That's rude. Do you still have that playboy purse I bought you?
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Does beer count? If no, meat and mashed potatoes.
16. Lights on the tree? White , six hundred on our little tree. It's all about layering. Most are just armatures at this all important task.
17. Favorite Christmas song? Feliz navidad.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel, were never having Xmas at our house.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Yes in order, Rudolph counts.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel. Always. Littlest puts it on.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on xmas eve, but not a big one. Stockings first then breakfast then presents.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? All the slow tourists in the streets of Manhattan.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Leasureville ornaments.
24. What do you want for Christmas this year? Liam to be good on the plane trip and a tan.
25. Who is most likely to respond to this? Bryn…….Just kidding.

My bro. sent me this info this morning so I have to give him some of the credit.
"NEW YORK (Billboard) - Cult hip-hop band the Roots will serve as the house band on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon," which premieres March 2 on NBC. Fallon, who is filling the slot to be vacated by Conan O'Brien, made the announcement Monday on the show's newly launched Web site.
Fallon is taking over "Late Night" for Conan O'Brien, who is in turn taking over "The Tonight Show" from Jay Leno.
The Roots will get in a handful of live dates before taping begins on the show, including December 30 in Atlantic City, N.J., and a four-date run in Japan in mid-January.
Reuters/Billboard
Hopefully this won't suck"

My thoughts. Roots are awesome, original and totally talented. Jimmy F. not some much. I think he's mildly funny at best and he has some huge fucking shoes to fill. If he even attempts to do Conan's puppet dance I will shot my TV.

Welcome to my blog on life. Its named Hoonsuit's life. When I was a kid my mom used to call anyone that was getting into trouble or mischief a Hoonsuit. Since my life has been filled with getting in trouble and mischief I thought it would be a good name. So here we go...........